World War Z – TheMovie

First it is important to say I haven’t read the book yet.

I enjoyed the movie however I expected it to be better scripted, with more significant dialogue and less zombie running/shooting. You will say ‘OK, but it’s a zombie movie’, and I say yeah, but still they could have given the actors a few more minutes to earn their enormous wage than simply showing off a bunch of CGI action zombie shooting.

Políticos Brasileiros não entendem nada

Não creio nas coisas que escuto na GloboNews. “O governo não sabe o que vai ouvir e o que vai negociar com os protestantes porque as reivindicações são esparsas e o movimento é apartidário e não tem líder. O governo não sabe por onde começar.” Os nossos governantes são completamente idiotas, retardados, incapazes de entender que a grande moral da história de toda esta manifestação é justamente que eles, os governantes, perderam totalmente a credibilidade junto ao povo, que a POLITICA brasileira está desacreditada A TAL PONTO QUE OS MANIFESTANTES SE RECUSAM A LEVANTAR BANDEIRAS PARTIDÁRIAS DURANTE AS MANIFESTAÇÕES, pois já ficou claro que tomar partido político aqui não significa porcaria nenhuma. Vocês, governantes, não vão negociar com os protestantes porque não entendem que, para negociar com os protestantes, a primeira coisa que precisa mudar é a sua própria atitude em relação ao povo.

Happy New Year

Only wanted to wish whoever it pleases a happy new year, whatever that means and however shit won’t change anyway.


I’ve been sort of absent lately, but there’s nothing going on other than going from home to work and then back home after the day is already over. Nothing worth talking about.

Review of “Battleship” (2012)

So, right, I watched this. (For free – I’m not crazy.) Utterly ridiculous – as most alien invasion movies are. For those that are not aware, it’s based on the 2-player board game of the same name. It’s important to note that this is one of the simplest board games ever. It consists of blindly “shooting” at your opponent’s navy by calling out positions on a grid. Keep this fact in mind for later.

Now, I’ll tell you straight away that the first 20 minutes can simply be skipped. This span of the movie is one of the more tedious attempts at character development ever. And hello, no one is watching an alien invasion movie based on one of the simplest board games ever for the characters. If they needed to pad for time, I would have liked some insight into the aliens’ motives. (I can hardly believe I am asking such a thing of this movie, but there it is.) Anyhow, skip the beginning, as you’ll easily figure out the two-dimensional characters’ simplistic motivations and relationships by watching the action parts of the movie.

After the blah-blah, the aliens land. One ship breaks up and smashes up a bit of China. The rest land near Hawaii and toss up a giant shield that not even Liam Neeson can get through, leaving only 3 human naval vessels (none of which are battleships) inside. Apparently the alien ship that crashed had all their communication equipment on it, so now they need to invade Hawaii to use some radio telescopes there to contact a (human) satellite to contact their home planet to tell them to send more ships to help invade earth. Yes, that’s right, humans have a modest-sized satellite that can contact other star systems, but aliens who can cross interstellar space don’t have the same technology on all their ships, only the one.

Moving on… oh, yeah, speaking of moving. The alien space ships – SPACE SHIPS – move by hopping in/on the water. I am not making this up. They look like Megatron trying to do the breast stroke. They never fly again, nor do they submerge again once they’ve surfaced near the beginning of the movie. They conveniently stay on the 2-dimensional surface of the ocean and fight the human naval ships pretty much like other, albeit spastic, human naval ships. Handy, eh?

Remember the point from the first paragraph I told you to keep in mind? Good. This is carried over into the film – aside from eyesight neither the human nor alien ships can detect one another. Now, clearly, we can expect that star-hopping aliens would be able to jam human radar and what not. However no explanation whatsoever is given as to why the aliens can’t track the human ships. Worse still, the humans cheat! The tricksy bastards use TSUNAMI DETECTION BUOYS to track the hopping alien ships. And with enough accuracy to shoot missiles at them and eventually hit them. I shit you not. (To be fair, it was a Japanese sailor who figured this out, so that’s probably why it worked. The only semi-intelligent characters in the movie are Caucasian females or Japanese males. Lucky for the aliens there wasn’t a female Japanese character or they would have been screwed right off the bat.)

So, now that the makers of this movie have crippled the aliens in ways only justifiable in the context of slavish devotion to a 70 year old game a 6 year old can play and that the humans are cheating, you have to start to wonder if perhaps the kids from “Super 8″ should get subbed in for the US Navy, since clearly there’s hardly a challenge in it for the military. But wait! The aliens have spiffy, flying, spinning, fiery, metal-chewing ball thingies that eat ships, helicopters and highways for lunch. Probably adolescent filmmakers too. So, with all the puny human ships now turned into scrap metal, what’s a bunch of socially dysfunctional heroes to do? You guessed it: grab a bunch of naval veterans, un-museum-ify the USS Missouri, and use this 70 year old battleship to fight the last alien STARship. And here you were worried there wasn’t going to be a battleship in this.

So, anyhow, now we have some serious action. The nine 20-inch guns of the Missouri pound the crap out of an alien vessel made out of trans-uranic elements no earthling (Japanese or otherwise) can identify. Also, the loser captain of the museum ship and the Japanese guy shoot out the windows of the alien ship using large rifles. They do this because the aliens, as it turns out, are invading a planet that is so bright they’re functionally blind on it without sun glasses. Seriously, my 90 year old grandmother could beat these guys at this point. Still, the heavily damaged last alien ship manages to spit out 3 of the spiffy, flying, spinning, fiery, metal-chewing ball thingies just as the Missouri shoots its last round off at the radio telescopes on Hawaii (to prevent the ETs from phoning home). Fortunately, the last alien ship was damaged enough that the giant shield is down and Liam Neeson is able to save the Missouri and our heroes with some of his aircraft carrier’s fighter jets. It’s worth pointing out that Liam knows his jets are so bad-ass that rather than launching all of them to help fend off an ALIEN INVASION, he only sends a few. It’s like he knew the movie was almost over or something and was trying to save jet fuel.

So, anyhow, what’s good about this movie? Nice action sequences. Good effects. Thus, I would say you should only see this movie under the following circumstances: 1) you don’t have to pay for it, 2) you can easily skip the first 20 minutes or so, and 3) you can ignore the idiocies enough to enjoy big metal human sea ships and big metal hopping alien sea ships knocking the crap out of each other.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

… or “Män som hatar kvinnor” (original Swedish title) or “Os Homens que Não Amavam as Mulheres” (in Portuguese).

Finally, after watching the three original Swedish films, I’m getting better acquainted with Lisbeth Salander again by reading the Millenium trilogy. I’m currently in the middle of the second book, The Girl Who Played With Fire. I rated The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo 4 out of 5 stars on Goodreads. It could be a few pages shorter and give us less detail about the Vanger family, since many facts were not relevant – neither to characterize the people nor to the crime mistery. Also, I’m no puritan, but at some point during the book it’s already clear enough to the reader that Blomkvist is a ladies man, so there’s no need to waste pages describing his love affairs. But overall the most negative aspect of this book (and the trilogy, so far) is the endless ammount of product placement. At one point it got so annoying that I almost dropped the book. “She took her PowerBook/ his brand new IKEA couch brand x, chairs brand y, cars brand z, etc” – that is REALLY annoying, and I’m no writer, but as an advice to any aspiring writer I’d say don’t do product placement in your book. It may even be a bestseller, but it will piss the hell out of your readers. Despite all that it’s an awesome book, highly recommended.

Minor Update “Projeto Ficha Limpa”

President Lula has finally sanctioned “Projeto Ficha Limpa”, it’s been published in the Brazilian Official Daily paper today: that means it’s now a law, citizens condemned by the Justice are not allowed candidacy for anything public/political.

For further info about “Projeto Ficha Limpa (Project Clean Record)” check my previous posts:

Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is probably my favorite commemorative date. It’s a honest and realistic reason to celebrate.

Motherhood is a universal motive for a holiday: most countries celebrate it at the same day; everyone has a mother, regardless of ethnicity, religion, social status. Naturally, it is, as well, a commercial date, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that: everyone here must agree about the importance of our mothers in our lives, and presenting them with cuddling mementos is the least we can do.

Same thing for Father’s Day. Instead of traditional religious holidays, I think Father’s and Mother’s Day are the holidays that actually show how much we care about our family values.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!

*All images under the public domain, from Flickr Commons, by The George Eastman House, The Library of Congress & State Library of NSW.

Previously, on planet earth…

  • Brasilia, Brazil’s capital, turned 50 years old.
  • Mudslide tragedy going on in Rio de Janeiro killed more than 200 people.
  • The entire Polish presidencial staff died in a plane crash (President included).
  • Obama and Medvedev signed a disarmament treaty to reduce their nuclear arsenal in 1/3.
  • José Serra officialy became a presidential candidate.
  • A Brazilian pedophile-turned-serial-killer confessed the murder of 6 kids 13-19 y/o who went missing in Luziania, a small town in the state of Goias, in the central plateou, near Brasilia. After being arrested, he allegedlly killed himself while in jail. An investigation is will now determine if the killer, ironically named Jesus, commited suicide, or whether someone “suicided” him.
  • José Roberto Arruda has been released from jail. He remains holding the record of “Brazilian Politician who Spent Most Time in Jail”: 2 long months. What will be of him now?
  • Another earthquake, this time in China, killed more than 2.000 people.
  • An Icelandic volcano woke up after 200 years dormant, flooded surrounding area, ashes spreaded all over Europe closing all airports, causing worldwide commercial aviation to chaos.
  • A bidding took place to determine who will build the Belo Monte dam, a power plant in the Xingú area of the brazilian amazon. The event happened under vehement protest of NGO’s and indigenous people, who claim environmental damage and disrespect to the indigeous rights.

Projeto Ficha Limpa

 Brazilian Congress has conveniently postponed the voting and implementation of  “Projeto Ficha Limpa” – or, in english, “Project Clean Record”. It’s a new law that bans politicians with a criminal record from a new candidacy. The governist base and allies are the only ones to blame for the *shameless* filibuster (PT & PMDB). Meanwhile, PSDB, PPS, PV, PSOL e PHS are working pro-bill. The law is largely supported by brazilian people. Nearly 2 million people had already undersigned it before it got to congress.  There is an ongoing effort from the governist base to change the text in order to create a legal loophole that would allow politicians with a dirty record to participate in the elections.

Follow “Projeto Ficha Limpa” on Twitter: @FICHALIMPA

-Here are a few Brazilian Twitter politicians worth following: @alvarodias_  @silva_marina  @deputadamanuela  @lucianagenro  @Serys  @BetoAlbuquerque  @deputadofederal  @gabeiracombr  @mercadante